


Anna

by PhanofCatnip



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Depression, Fluff, Homophobia, Jealousy, Love, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Strangers to Lovers, check out the other fic, it's really good, mine won't really compare tbh, oh well ima try anyway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-04-27 10:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14423547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhanofCatnip/pseuds/PhanofCatnip
Summary: Dan and Anna's parents have super high expectations. Too high. When Dan finally escapes, he's worried for Anna.Until years later she rings him up, needing a home.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Charlotte](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1313251) by [dannihowell (iguessicantry)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iguessicantry/pseuds/dannihowell). 



Dan groaned as he woke up, the sound of the alarm piercing through his mind like a siren. He knew that if he was late his dad would have it out with him, so he dragged himself out of bed and stumbled his way to the bathroom, where he proceeded to straighten his hair and wash. 

 

Back in his room, he pulled on an oversized black jumper, one of many that formed his usual wardrobe. Ten minutes later, in black jeans and trainers, he grabbed his bag and ran out the door, relieved to have escaped before his dad woke up.

 

Dan spent the entire walk to school with his eyes on the ground, trying to blend into the background. He wasn’t victimised, exactly, but he wasn’t liked either. It was much safer to remain under the radar. He kept his head down, worked hard and stayed out of sight. He didn’t really have many friends - he spent free time in the library with his head in a book. Sometimes he felt envious of the kids who carpooled and went to parties and got drunk and did all the things normal teenagers did.

 

Dan shook himself. No time for those sorts of thoughts. He just had to be quiet and get good grades. Glancing up at the teens milling around, he scurried away to his first class.

  
  


*****

 

After a long and tedious physics lesson, followed by English, with meticulous notes from both, Dan headed off to his one, simple pleasure. Art. He had stopped going to lunch months ago, preferring to spend it in the classroom of his next lesson. As he took his seat and pulled out his sketchbook, Dan gave himself a moment - just a moment - to relax. 

 

Then it was over, and he had a pencil in his hand. He was sketching the boy he had seen at his cousin’s barbeque the night before. It was a family affair, but he hadn’t recognised him. The boy had looked slightly older than Dan, and had raven black hair and bright blue eyes. Dan had only seen him in passing, but his features had been so striking he remembered them clearly. 

 

By the time lunch was finished and the rest of the class started filing in, he had nearly finished. As his peers were opening their sketchbooks to begin their new projects, Dan was pulling out a canvas and selecting his medium. He decided to use chalk, and blue paint for the eyes. Putting his earphones in, Dan got to work.

 

He always poured himself into his art - it was the only thing he was truly passionate about. Dan knew he wouldn’t pursue it though. He’d do law at college, become a lawyer, marry a pretty girl who didn’t interest him and who he didn’t love, and screw up his own children the way his parents had him and his sister.

 

No. Focus. He looked down at his work to see that the form had properly taken shape. He touched up the face, smoothing the lines and correcting the shape. Finally, he moved on to the features. A mouth, a nose, and then the eyes. He took extra special care over these, them being the only splash of colour in the entire piece. After mixing his paint, he filled in the eyes carefully, carefully. 

 

Dan stepped back and pulled out his earphones. It was one of the best pieces he’d ever done. Casting his eyes around the room, he noticed that everyone else had left. The clock read 5. Shit. He needed to be home in time for Anna. She had a big gymnastics competition, but she wasn’t feeling well this morning. He doubted she’d won, so she needed him there. 

 

He hurriedly packed away, but his art teacher came in just as he was about to leave.

 

‘Still here, Dan?’

 

‘Yeah, just on my way out.’

 

‘What’ve you been working on today? You looked quite immersed so I didn’t want to disturb you.’

 

Dan reluctantly stood aside and showed her his canvas. He always liked constructive criticism, just not when he had to be home for Anna.

 

‘Oh, Dan!’ his teacher gasped. He was confused. He thought it was good. He was just about to turn away when she continued. 

 

‘Dan, that’s beautiful! How you’ve only used colour to emphasise the eyes… Stunning.’

 

Dan was taken aback. Nobody ever praised him. There was always room for improvement.

 

‘What could I do to improve next time?’

 

‘You know what Dan? Nothing. I think it’s perfect.’

 

‘Oh. Ok. Thank you.’

 

Dan shouldered his back and escaped the room, sprinting as soon as he got outside. He had ten minutes to make the half an hour walk, if that. He felt oddly disatisfied. Nothing was perfect. There was always room for improvement. His teacher probably didn’t care enough to tell him.

 

He discarded the thoughts as he ran, focusing only on being home in time for Anna.

 

*****

 

When he reached his garden, he slowed to a walk, seeing the car in the drive. He was too late. His father would be laying into her by now. 

 

He opened the door more loudly than necessary, not only to show Anna that he was home and everything would alright, but also to draw the attention away from her. As he trailed into the living room, she ran up to him and curled up in his arms. 

 

‘Anna.’

 

Dan inwardly screamed at the sound of his father’s voice. The bastard.

 

‘Anna, why don’t you tell Dan how you did?’

 

She just buried her face in his chest.

 

‘Anna!’

 

‘I came third,’ she mumbled.

 

‘Anna, that’s amazing. You were feeling so ill this morning and you still finished up on the podium. I’m so proud of you.’ Dan wrapped his arms tightly around his eight year old sister, as he felt her begin to sob.

 

When he looked up, he saw his father glaring at him.

 

‘Amazing? You should’ve got that gold Anna. It’s just not good enough.’

 

Dan ignored him and lifted her up, carrying her away. He took her upstairs and helped her out of her leotard, as she was sobbing all the while. He tucked her in and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

 

‘Thank you Danny.’ she whispered faintly. 

 

Dan felt his heart swell with love for his sister, and held her as she drifted off to sleep. He knew tomorrow he would have hell to pay for taking her away from their parents, but for now he just kissed her again and retreated to his own room.

 

*****

 

Flopping onto his bed, Dan grabbed his phone and started scrolling through tumblr. It was his only social media, and it was an anonymous account. He never posted, just looked. He was the perfect example of an internet ghost.

 

He paused on short piece of fiction, eyes skimming over the summary. He selected it, and read the fluffy little fic about a gay couple finding themselves. He could never come out, so these little glimpses of imaginary people overcoming the impossible obstacle were his only way of imagining a life where he could be himself. An artsy gay kid. The notion almost made him laugh out loud. 

 

Tomorrow he would wake up, go to school, take notes, come home. Do his piano practice, then violin. Complete homework. Do extra study. Go to bed. Same as every day. Dan sighed. He had resigned himself to this existence long ago.


	2. Chapter 2

Dan slumped in his seat, wanting to be anywhere but in that garden, at yet another family get together. His parents had raised him to care more about his grades than other people, so he totally hated any sort of social situation. 

 

His cousin, Lily, was the opposite. She flitted about the party laughing and chatting. He was envious of her. How he could be related to such a social butterfly was beyond him. She was nice, though. She was the only person Dan found he could really talk to. He watched as she continued her routine, sipping her ribena and giggling at  _ everyone’s  _ jokes. He found himself drifting off a little, but was startled when he felt someone collapse onto the seat next to him.

 

‘Hi Dan!’

 

‘Heya Lily.’

 

‘You look like shit.’

 

‘Well, thanks,’ he smiled. She always knew what to say.

 

‘C’mon. I want you to meet someone. No, don’t roll your eyes. He hates parties as much as you do and I want you two to stop looking like such grumps. He’s Martyn’s little brother.’

 

Dan groaned as he grudgingly allowed himself to be hauled off the seat and led across the garden and into the house. Lily took him to the kitchen, mostly empty now everyone had eaten, and pointed the guy out. It was the boy that Dan had painted a few months ago. He felt a slight flutter, but pushed it back down.  _ No. _

 

‘Hey, Phil Phil Phil! It’s been ages!’ Lily enthusiastically greeted the black haried boy. Phil. ‘I gotta dash, but here’s my cousin Dan. He’s an introverted weirdo like you. Anyway, bye bye!’

 

Dan was slightly taken aback by the speed with which Lily made the introduction and she was gone before he could blink. He awkwardly waved and said hi.

 

‘Hi. I’m Phil. What’s your name?’

 

‘Daniel. Sooooo, what do you do for fun?’ Dan asked uncertainly.

 

‘Well, I like Mario Kart way too much to be healthy.’ Dan was surprised to find himself laughing.

 

And as the night went on, he was shocked by how easy conversation with Phil was. At some point his parents had gone home with Anna, and the other teenagers had started playing truth or dare. This went over both their heads, though. It was as if they were in a little bubble where they could be nerdy freaks and nobody would judge them.

 

By the end of the night Phil was calling him Dan, not Daniel, And he found that for the first time in years he might have a friend. As Dan was about to leave, after a rather demanding text from his dad, Phil stopped him.

 

‘Uh, would it maybe be ok if I could possibly have your number?’ He practically vomited the words in a big mess. 

 

Dan hesitated. He wasn’t out, he probably never would be, but here was a cute boy asking for his number. Phil saw his dithering and started to apologise profusely.

 

‘I’m really sorry. My mistake, I thought you were-’

 

‘I am.’ Dan put his hand to his mouth. That was the first time he had ever told anyone. Heck, it was the first time he’d even said out loud that he liked boys. ‘I just, I’m not out. I, yeah, give me your phone.’

 

Phil broke out into a grin, and as they parted ways, Dan felt happier than he had for a long time.

 

*****

 

Dan gazed up at Phil, who looked beautiful in the moonlight. His eyes, what had drawn Dan to him in the first place, were sparkling. Dan couldn’t help but reach up and press their lips together, and he felt nothing but joy when Phil kissed him back.

 

They were sat in a park, and it was well past eleven pm. Dan’s father would give him hell when he got home, but, right then, he didn’t care. He was snuggled up to his wonderful boyfriend of a month, and he was on cloud nine.

 

Suddenly, Dan heard footsteps and jerked away from Phil. 

 

‘I’m sorry,’ Dan amended, ‘ I still haven’t told anyone. If it was someone I knew that would be it for me.’

 

Immediately Phil’s face turned from one of hurt to one of sympathy. He was incredibly understanding, and an amazing boyfriend.  _ Boyfriend _ . Dan never thought he would be able to say that about anyone. 

 

He was finally happy.

 

*****

 

Dan’s knee bounced up and down. It was his grade eight piano exam today, and he knew he couldn’t screw this up. Whilst his dad didn’t approve of music as a career, he thought it was an important aspect of a child’s worth. That was how he thought of kids after all. Something he could parade around and say ‘hey, look what I made.’ Dan hated him.

 

He ran over the pieces in his head. He knew them well, he wasn’t concerned about that. It was the sight reading that worried him. Thirty seconds of practice and then he had to play a piece he’d never seen before. It was gruelling.

 

Finally, it was his turn. He was perfect on the set pieces, as expected. His fingers danced over the keys and he barely had to look at the sheet. Then came the sight reading. To calm himself, Dan pushed all thoughts of his father’s potential rage out of his mind and instead pictured Phil, and how proud he would be if Dan got a distinction star. 

 

He aced it. Now he only had to wait six weeks to find out how he did. If he achieved top marks. It was awful.

 

After getting the bus home, Dan immediately went on skype to Phil. He was getting his own apartment soon, much nearer, and Dan was looking forward to being able to see him in person much more. For now, they settled for bad quality skype calls and grainy webcams. It didn't matter though. That seemed to fade away when they started talking about all their possible futures together.

 

They were going to buy a house, and get a dog, or two or three. Phil would be an animator for children’s television, and Dan would play the music and write the scripts. They would be free and happy and together. It would be perfect.

 

At least, it would be perfect until Dan heard his father’s heavy tread coming up the stairs, and had to quickly disconnect the call without saying anything, before switching over to his essay. 

 

Perfect was a long, long way off. 


	3. Chapter 3

Phil slumped into his sofa, and pulled Dan on top of him. He was so, so, so… content. He was in his own flat, not half an hour away from his brother and his best friend, Lily. His job as an underpaid animator was going well - he had gotten his dream job and was working in children’s television. Everyone there was so happy and supportive that the crummy pay didn’t matter. It was enough. And most importantly, he had Dan. 

 

Dan.

 

Dan with his gorgeous chocolate brown eyes and straightened hair. Dan with his amazing laugh. Dan with his dimples and beautiful, beautiful smile. 

 

Dan.

 

It didn’t matter to Phil that Dan still kept him secret. It was enough that he came to see him almost every day. It was more than enough. Because Phil loved Dan.

 

Neither of them had said it yet. It had been nearly a year, but they were both scared. Phil was scared because of what had happened before. Dan was scared because Phil was his first. His first everything. His first kiss. His first boyfriend. His first love.

 

Phil hated it, but sometimes he found himself comparing Dan to Charlie. Where Charlie was loud and made all the first moves, Dan was shy and waited for Phil. Where Charlie had been demanding, Dan was unobtrusive. And where Charlie had betrayed him, Dan was the most loyal person Phil could ask for.

 

He remembered meeting Charlie. It had been at secondary school, and he was the first boy Phil had ever had a crush on. So when it turned out that Charlie returned his feelings, Phil leapt into his newfound romance. It was a whirlwind of laughs and discovery. Charlie would take him out at least once a week, to the cinema, to the park, even to the zoo. He had the time of his life.

 

It was Charlie who had encouraged Phil to come out to his family. One night, he had been sitting at table with his parents and Martyn, and it had just sort of happened.

 

‘Hey, Mum, I’m going to the cinema tonight.’

 

‘Ok, dear, I hope you have fun with your friends. Also, don’t eat too much popcorn.’ She chuckled.

 

‘Actually, I’m, uh, going with my boyfriend.’

 

‘Alright sweetie, well, have a good time.’

 

His dad interrupted then. ‘Is he a nice boy Phil?’

 

Martyn started chanting ‘Philly’s got a boyfriend, Philly’s got a boyfriend.’

 

Phil just sat there stunned. ‘Did you guys just hear me? I said I’m gay!’

 

His dad had just laughed. ‘Yeah, we heard you, son. But, to be honest, we always knew.’

 

‘How?’

 

‘I remember when you were seven years old, and you said that you wanted to marry the “nice young weatherman”.’

 

Phil just gaped. He was too shocked by his family’s reaction to speak.

 

‘Oi oi Phil,’ Martyn broke him out of his stupor, ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’ And Phil hit him lightly and dinner resumed as normal. 

 

He’d known, of course, that many families weren’t as accepting as his, and that he was lucky. Until Phil met Dan, though, he hadn’t really been able to imagine it.

 

After coming out to his parents, Phil’s relationship with Charlie just got better. He felt so happy he could fly. There were little things, of course, like Charlie always wanting to know where he was, and sometimes he would check Phil’s phone, but he was only worried. Anyway, nobody was perfect.

 

Then, two years into their relationship, Charlie went away for the summer with his family. He promised to call every day, but soon, every day was every week, and then not at all. For four weeks, Phil heard nothing, and when Charlie called to say he was coming home, he sounded distant.

 

The night he got back, Phil went round to his and things got steamy pretty quickly. They had never gone all the way before, but Charlie was being pushy and Phil put it down to him missing him.

 

So they did it. And as Charlie slammed into Phil, reaching his climax, he shouted out.

 

‘Thomas!’

 

Phil had quickly struggled free, and pushed Charlie off when he tried to kiss him.

 

‘Who’s Thomas?’

 

‘What?’

 

‘You… You shouted Thomas. Who is Thomas? Is he why you didn’t call me for a month? Who is Thomas?’ Phil was nearly shouting by the end, knowing what was coming.

 

‘Thomas… He… He… He’s my boyfriend.’

 

‘But I’m your boyfriend!’

 

‘I know, but when I was away I just missed you, and there he was, and things escalated and I know I shouldn’t have Phil! But please, forgive me.’

 

Phil just stared at him. The boy who had all his firsts, the boy who had just taken his fucking virginity, before getting dressed and storming out the door.

 

A few weeks later, Charlie had shown up on Phil’s doorstep.

 

‘Please, Phil, I’m sorry!’

 

‘You betrayed me Charlie. Anyway, you have  _ Thomas  _ now.’

 

’No! No I don’t! I told him about you and he ditched me please!’

 

Phil was trying to choke back tears.

 

‘Don’t make this harder for me Charlie.’

 

‘I love you!’

 

‘If you love me, you’ll let me go.’

 

‘No! Phil!’

 

At that point Phil’s mum had come outside and asked if there was an issue.

 

‘I want Charlie to leave an he won’t go,’ Phil had nearly cried.

 

‘Well Charlie, I think it’d be best if you do as my son asks, don’t you?’ She said it so sternly that he just scurried away.

 

Phil had buried his head in his mum’s arms and told her everything, so thankful that she was so amazing. She had reassured him, made him see the light.

 

‘Phil, love, I know it hurts now, but this needed to happen. This needed to happen because someday you will meet someone new. You see, Charlie was a taker, and you’re a giver Phil. And because you’ve ended it with Charlie, that means you’re free to find a new person, a giver, who’ll love you just as much as you love them. Everything happens for a reason, darling, and when you meet that person you will have a wonderful life.’

 

And as Phil lay there, on his sofa, Dan falling asleep on his chest, he couldn’t help but feel that he’d found his wonderful new person. His giver. His Dan.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get excited, I've only edited the end notes. No new chapter yet.

Dan was fucking sick of this. His life. His parents. He’d hot the results of his piano exam. Distinction star. 146 out of 150 marks. And it still wasn’t fucking good enough. He was storming over to Phil’s apartment, rage filling him. He knew he should stay home, hole up in his room until he calmed down. He was in such a state that he knew that the first person he saw, he would take everything out on them. He considered texting Phil a warning, but he was too infuriated to slow his pace.

 

He slammed into Phil’s apartment, stopping up the stairs before throwing himself onto the sofa. Phil popped his head round the door, and, on seeing Dan’s mood, immediately came forward to console him. It almost worked. Dan almost got lost in those bright, blue eyes that he had been drawn to months ago when he first painted Phil. 

 

But then he remembered the bitterness and fury he was feeling towards his father, and let loose. He jumped up, pacing back and forth as he went on and on and on. Phil just sat patiently, which angered him even more. Why wasn’t he making Dan stop? Why wasn’t he trying to calm him? Deep down, Dan knew this was unreasonable, but in the heat of the moment it meant all his anger was suddenly projected onto Phil.

 

‘He expects too fucking much from both of us! If only you’d seen her last week. She came second in a maths exam and he blew his fucking top!’ He paused. ‘And you…’

 

Phil looked slightly startled at the quiet fury in Dan’s voice as he started speaking directly to Phil.

 

‘You! You expect too fucking much as well! I’m supposed to come and visit you every week and be a good boyfriend. One day, I guess I’m supposed to come out and move in with you. But guess what! That’s never gonna fucking happen! This was only ever gonna end like this! I can  _ never  _ come out, so we can  _ never _ be a proper item. Never! So I might as well just go now. Save myself the heartbreak later.’

 

Dan was internally screaming at himself to stop but he couldn't. He just couldn’t. And Phil’s expression, that of a wounded animal, only infuriated him more. He wasn’t saying anything, just staring at Dan in pained shock.

 

‘And you’re not even gonna fucking object as I leave. Bye Phil. It’s been nice.’ This seemed to startle Phil out of his stupor. He leapt to his feet and tried to take hold of him, but Dan shook him off.

 

‘You’re too late Phil.’

 

‘Dan, no, no, no! I need you Dan. I want you! I don’t care if we spend forever in secret as long as forever is with you. Dan! Don’t do this Dan! Come back!’

 

Dan slammed the door shut as Phil crumpled to the floor in tears.

 

*****

 

As Dan helped his mum prepare dinner, he felt subdued. After his rage had died down, he’d gone to his room and sobbed. He’d ruined it. The only good thing in his life and he’d ruined it. Phil was never gonna take him back now. He had nothing to live for.

 

He didn’t bother studying for Tuesday’s test. He wasn’t going to be around by then anyway.

 

So he went about his usual Saturday activities, and as he chopped carrots in the kitchen, he decided that, if it was over, he might as well go out with a bang.

 

‘Mum.’

 

‘Mhmm.’ She was always a little vacant. She just did as she was told. 

 

‘Mum, I’m gay.’

 

She looked up at him, then returned her eyes to her cooking.

 

‘I’m sorry Daniel.’

 

‘What for?’

 

‘I should’ve done better. But it’s ok. You’re still young. We can still get it out of you.’

 

‘Mum! It’s not like some sort of virus taking over my body! It’s who I am!’

 

Dan’s delightful father decided that this would be an appropriate point at which to arrive home.  He strolled into the kitchen, and both Dan and his mum silently returned to their work.

 

Dan kept bottling his anger all evening. His mum wanted to fucking pray the gay away. He almost laughed. And why not. 

 

He wandered into the living room at nine, and flopped onto he sofa.

 

‘Daniel. Why aren’t you studying. You have a test on Tuesday.’ His father’s stern voice came from the armchair.

 

‘I can’t be arsed.’

 

‘Daniel! That is not an attitude I will accept under my roof.’

 

‘Nah. It’s not like I agree that anything that happens under this roof is ok. Like the fact that mum said she wanted to coax the gay out of me earlier.’

 

Dan’s father was on his feet in seconds.

 

‘What did you just say.’

 

‘You fucking heard me. I’m gay. G-A-Y. Gay.’

 

His father slapped him around the face. He was startled, but only for a moment. 

 

‘I will not have a fucking faggot living under my roof! You hear me? Get out! Get the fuck out of my house!’

 

He raised his hand again, and this time balled it into a fist before aiming it at Dan’s nose. On and on and on the assault continued. He kept hitting and punching and kicking Dan right the way to the door, where he lifted him up and threw him out onto the lawn.

 

‘I never want to fucking see you again.’

 

‘Well, the feeling’s mutual, you bastard.’ Dan managed to choke out before his dad kicked him in the stomach one last time, winding him entirely. 

 

Dan could vaguely see Anna standing in the doorway, crying and being dragged away by their mother. She was only nine years old.

 

*****

 

Dan limped down the side of the road. He had noone. He just kept staggering on, trying to fend off the cold. He didn’t know where he was heading, but soon he found himself at Phil’s apartment building. He let himself in, and dragged himself up the stairs to the roof. Collapsing onto the edge, he gazed down at the ground eight stories below. He’d been hoping to be more creative than this, but he supposed this would do.

 

Dan shakily stood up, closed his eyes, and pitched himself over the edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the next few chapters written up, but I made myself promise I won't post them til Wednesday. Otherwise, I'll post like 6 chapters in 6 days and then never come back. I feel attached to this Dan and Phil. I don't want to leave them.


	5. Chapter 5

Suddenly, a hand grabbed his shirt and yanked him back. He painfully fell onto the roof again. He almost laughed. He couldn’t even die right. Dan twisted around to see who had saved him, and was surprised to see himself gazing into two deep blue pools. He felt an out of place sense of sadness. He’d left that picture of Phil at home. The one he was going to give him for his birthday.

 

‘Dan! What the fuck are you doing?’ Phil’s voice was shaky and afraid.

 

‘Told… Dad… Gay… Hurt… No… Point....’ he managed to get out.

 

‘Oh Dan. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so fucking much.’ He put a hand on Dan’s back to begin guiding him downstairs, but Dan hissed. Phil took his hand instead, and Dan followed, mute, unable to comprehend the situation.

 

Phil still cared.

 

*****

 

Phil guided Dan indoors and lay him on the sofa, where he groaned before rolling over onto his front. His back had taken the brunt of the violence, and every time he moved it felt like his dad was beating him all over again.

 

To begin with Phil couldn’t see why Dan was in so much pai. With his shirt on, he only had a few small bruises beginning to form on his arms. He figured it was probably just the shock of being thrown out. However, when he eased Dan out of his shirt he gasped. He was nearly blue with marks and in places there were rivers of red streaming down his back. How could a man do this to his son? How could anybody do this to anyone?

 

Gently, Phil cleaned Dan’s wounds and bandaged him up, before leading him to the bedroom and laying him on the bed. He sat beside Dan, lovingly stroking his cheek as he drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

 

After a while, Phil’s mind began to wander. Now that Dan couldn’t go home anymore, he’d need somewhere to stay. Dan being Dan, he didn’t exactly have friends. That meant Dan’s only option… Was to move in with him! Phil could barely contain his excitement. The two of them could live together at last.

 

*****

 

_ Seven Months Later _

 

‘Phil!’

 

‘What?’

 

‘Can you come here a sec?’

 

‘Ugh. You’re such a nuisance!’

 

‘You love me though.’

 

Phil just sighed. Dan had been in their bedroom getting ready for about an hour. He was just sat in the living room, scrolling through his laptop and checking the clock. Sighing again, he heaved himself off the sofa and went to find out what was taking Dan so long.

 

‘What should I wear?’ Phil was assaulted by the sight of Dan’s entire wardrobe spread across the bed.

 

‘Dan. It doesn’t matter. We’re literally going to Lily’s.’

 

‘I know, but my… My parents might be there. They always used to go to these things. I haven’t seen them since Mum dropped my stuff round the night after I was kicked out.’

 

‘Well what if they are there? Screw them. It’s been seven months Dan, you can do this.If you are worried about them though, do one of two things: a very tight tank top and ripped jeans, or an oversized black hoodie. Your choice.’ Dan grinned mischievously. 

 

‘You know what I  _ have  _ to do now you’ve said it, right?’

 

Phil smiled.

 

*****

 

Side by side, Dan and Phil strolled into Lily’s garden. Her house was definitely the social hub of Dan’s extended family, as well as a few of her parents’ friends. This was how he’d gotten to know Phil after all. They weren’t holding hands - Dan was still firmly in the closet with the door locked and bolted - but their shoulders occasionally brushed together for moral support.

 

‘Hiiiiiii!’ They heard a certain happy voice from behind them. 

 

‘Lily,’ Dan grinned.

 

‘Oh my gosh, Dan, you look amazing! When did you get a haircut? And why have you been neglecting me recently? I’ve had to do nine of these without you? Where have you been?’ she demanded.

 

‘Woah, woah, woah. I haven’t gone anywhere. I just moved in with Phil. We’re flatmates now. I’ve been settling in, that’s all.’

 

Lily just rolled her eyes. Dan hugged her tightly. He’d missed her. Then over her shoulder he saw Them. His mum and dad. He quickly broke off the hug, making some excuse about going to get a drink, and dragged Phil away as he headed to the kitchen.

 

‘Dan, Dan, stop. What the hell? You haven’t seen her in months and that’s it?’

 

‘Phil. It’s  _ them. _ ’

 

He watched the realisation dawn on Phil, before his face turned to one of impish glee.

 

‘Well Dan. You wore those clothes for a reason, didn’t you?’

 

His confidence rubbed of on Dan, and he too smiled.

 

‘You’re on, Philly.’

 

He led the way out into the garden, subtly searching for his parents. Dan was also hoping to find Anna. He missed her terribly.

 

‘Daniel.’

 

He spun around to see his parents side by side. He made sure to push out his chest to emphasise the tightness of his tank top.

 

‘Hi Dad.’

 

‘What are you wearing?’

 

‘Well, a shirt, some jeans, boxers, a pair of socks and my trainers.’

 

‘Daniel! You are perfectly aware that is not what I meant.’

 

‘Yeah? So what?’

 

Dan almost laughed at his father’s response.

 

‘Stop speaking to me like that. I am your father.’

 

‘Bravo! You know, when Darth Vader said it, it was kind of a bigger deal. Element of surprise and all that.’

 

‘Daniel!’

 

‘You stopped being my dad when you beat me close to death. You don’t deserve my respect.’ Dan had lowered his voice to a harsh whisper.

 

His father looked taken aback. 

 

‘You can’t change your DNA Daniel. You are part of my family whether you like it or not. I suggest you give up this charade and come back home. You’ve had your fun. You can’t escape your family, Daniel, no matter how hard you try.’

 

‘Fucking watch me.’ Dan turned around and took Phil by the wrist, quickly leading him away.

 

As soon as the two of them were out of earshot, they fell apart laughing.

 

‘When your dad was like “what the actual fuck are you wearing?” Oh my god that was amazing!’

 

‘Yeah, and his face when I swore at him!’

 

They collapsed back into hysterics, not realising they had company until a small voice sounded.

 

‘Danny?’

 

Dan’s head snapped up.

 

‘Anna! Anna, Anna, Anna! Oh, I missed you so much!’ Dan swept his sister up into a huge bear hug, clinging to her. She’d grown in the time he’d been away.

 

‘Danny, where did you go?’

 

He gently set her on the ground.

 

‘I’ve been living with Phil. That man over there. See him?’ Phil had made his exit when he realised who Anna was, knowing Dan would want to be alone with her.

 

‘The one with the black hair?’

 

‘Yep, that’s him.’

 

‘You missed my 10th birthday.’

 

‘I know, Anna. I’m sorry.’

 

‘Promise you won’t miss my 11th.’

 

Dan hesitated.

 

‘I just talked to Dad, Anna, and I might not be able to come. If you’re quick, though, I can take you to Starbucks right now.’

 

‘Now now?’

 

‘Now now. But you mustn’t tell.’

 

She squealed with joy.

 

*****

 

**To: Phil**

 

Dan - Hey. I’m taking anna to starbucks

 

Dan - I’ll be back in like half an hour

 

Phil - K. enjoy it. <3

 

Dan - <3

 

*****

 

‘...and then Lucy hit Jamie on the nose!’ Anna finished.

 

‘Wow! That must’ve been quite a day, huh?’

 

‘Yep.’ She giggled.

 

Dan gazed down at his little sister, fondly and sadly. He knew he had to say goodbye soon, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. This outing had been amazing. He hadn’t realised just how much he’d missed Anna until today.

 

‘Roo,’ Dan started, using her nickname. He’d been Pooh Bear, or bear. ‘I have to go home soon, but I promise we will do this again. Wait, have Mum and Dad given you a phone yet? I got mine when I was 10.’

 

‘Yeah. I’ve got one.’ Anna was clearly saddened by the prospect of saying bye to Dan.

 

‘Alright. Hey, hey, cheer up.’ He ran his finger along her cheek. ‘If you give me your phone, I can text you and I’ll be able to take you out more often.’

 

She perked up a little at this, and handed it over. After inputting his number in, Dan took her hand and led her out of the cafe. He sent a quick text to Phil, letting him know they were on their way back, and Phil soon replied, confirming nobody had noticed Anna’s absence.

 

The two of them snuck back into the garden, and Dan squeezed her tightly one last time before going to find Lily to say goodbye. He was ready to go home.

 

‘Lily!’

 

‘There you are! Where have you been all afternoon?’

 

‘I took Anna to starbucks. I don’t get to spend much time with her nowadays.’

 

‘Alright, I guess. Phil’s been lonely all this time. Had to latch onto me for comfort. Isn’t that right.’

 

‘Hey! That’s not true! I talked to… Uhh… Oh fine. But you’re like, my best friend other than Dan and Martyn.’

 

Lily just laughed, and they could still hear her even after they closed the front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Hope you enjoyed :)


	6. Chapter 6

Boxes. Everywhere. It was too much. Dan jokingly collapsed into Phil’s arms, hand on his forehead.

 

‘I plead thee, brave knight, save me from the boxes!’

 

‘Thou art too beautiful to be devoured. Come, we shall away!’

 

Dan fell to the ground in fits of giggles.

 

‘Go get dressed, spork. Lily will be here soon to help.’

 

They had bought a house. After Dan had gotten a job where Phil worked, just like they had planned when they were younger, playing and composing for various TV shows, their combined income had been pretty impressive. Dan was now 23, and Phil 27. They were comfortable and happy, and this seemed like the next step. 

 

After throwing on a baggy t-shirt and some shorts, Phil joined Dan in the kitchen. He’d let Lily in while Phil was changing and the two of them were chatting over a cup of tea. Dan remembered when Lily had been the only person he could talk to. She’d been a wonderful friend. She still was. Admittedly, her relationship with Phil was slightly closer, because they had met as friends rather than family. Dan still adored her though, and every time he saw her was a treat.

 

‘Right, the, you two. Drink up your tea and get those giraffe arms working moving boxes!’ Lily commanded.

 

Dan and Phil promptly saluted her, raced to see who could down their tea the fastest (Dan) and then raced to find the lightest box (Phil won that one).

 

After that he day was just a void of box moving, and squeezing all non flat pack furniture down the stairs. They’d considered hiring removals, but Lily wouldn’t hear of it.

 

At one point, Dan had been bending over in the bathroom to grab something out of the cupboard when Phil came up behind him and starting grinding against his ass. Dan had suppressed a moan and turned around to catch Phil in a light kiss, which quickly turned passionate.

 

‘Oh my God!’ a squeal came from behind them and they sprang apart.

 

‘Um. Hi?’ Dan tried, but Lily was already striding over, mouth still agape.

 

‘Phil? Dan is the guy you won’t tell me about? Dan? I didn’t even know you were gay! Ugh, it’s so obvious now. I’m so happy. Wait a minute. How long has this been a thing?’

 

Dan and Phil looked sheepish.

 

‘Uhhh. Since you introduced me to Phil at that get together thing…’

 

‘What! You two have been an item for  _ seven years _ and not told me! I can’t believe you. Anyway, stop snogging and carry on with lifting boxes.’ She turned away, still muttering about the betrayal of not telling her sooner. 

 

*****

 

‘AHHHHHH SAVENYAAAAAA!’ Dan belted out as he strode into the living room, arms spreading wide as he sang.

 

Phil barely glanced up at him, before rolling his eyes with a small smile and going back to his work. He had just been given his big break. Disney had offered him a job working as an animator and he had leapt at the opportunity. It did mean, though, that he was very busy working on his first project, which would be the deciding factor in whether or not he got to keep the job. It also meant that Dan had begun spontaneously bursting out into disney songs at random moments.

 

‘FROM THE DAY WE ARRIVE ON THE PLANET!’

 

‘Dan.’

 

‘AND, BLINKING, STEP INTO THE SUN!’

 

‘Dan.’

 

THERE’S MORE TO SEE THAN CAN EVER BE SEEN, MORE TO DO THAT CAN EVER BE DOOONE!’

 

Phil raised his eyebrows, secretly enjoying the serenade, and, when Dan broke out into the chorus, Phil vigorously joined in.

 

‘IT’S THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIFE, AND IT MOVES US ALLLLLLL!’

 

Phil stood up and wrapped his arms around Dan, crescendoing to a glorious finish.

 

‘IN THE CIIIRCLE, THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIFE!’

 

They collapsed onto the sofa, laughing hysterically, still wrapped in one another’s arms.

 

‘Hey Phil.’

 

‘Yeah.’

 

‘Can we go away next week?’

 

‘Why?’

 

‘We’ve been together for eight years and we’ve never had a holiday together. Also, after your work is due on Saturday, we should celebrate.’

 

‘Ok.’ Phil smiled. ‘Where shall we go?’

 

‘I’ll sort that. You just focus on keeping your job so we can pay off the mortgage sooner.’ Dan giggled, then leapt up and ran into their room.

 

*****

 

‘No, Phil, we do not need a blobfish plushie on holiday.’

 

‘But I want it to meet other blobfish!’

 

‘You don’t know that you’re gonna see a blobfish!’

 

‘I don’t know anything,’ Phil retorted.

 

‘Ugh. Fine. Bring the blobfish. But when you get charged for an overweight suitcase, you’re paying.’

 

‘Dan, we have a joint bank account.’

 

‘Shhhh. You’re still paying for it.’

 

Phil just smiled and squeezed the blobfish in among his rainbow explosion of a suitcase. Dan heaved his up onto the bed to zip it up, and saw Phil looking at him.

 

‘What?’

 

‘Dan, I need to tell you something.’

 

‘What?’

 

‘There’s this cool new concept, it’s the latest craze. It’s called  _ colour. _ ’

 

‘Fuck off.’ Dan hit Phil lightly on the shoulder, before gazing at him. He was so excited for this trip, and he knew Phil would love it. He couldn’t wait for the look on Phil’s face when they arrived. It was going to be wonderful.

 

The two of them maintained eye contact for ages, until Dan’s phone vibrated, informing him the Uber had arrived. He broke off his gaze, before zipping up his suitcase and taking Phil’s hand to lead him downstairs. Phil didn’t even know they were going abroad yet.

 

*****

 

Dan led the way through passport control, making sure Phil wasn’t listening every time their destination was mentioned. As it was early April, it wasn’t too busy like it would be in peak season. There were still a fair few amount of people though, and the queues were rather depressing.

 

Finally, they made it past all the intimidating scanners and stern people in uniforms. Flopping onto one of the many seats around the airport, Dan gave a sly smile before producing, to Phil’s delight, a thermos full of coffee and a couple of muffins. 

 

‘Dan, you are actually the love of my life, the light of my world, my one true saviour.’ However, as Phil’s mouth was filled with muffin, it sounded more like ‘Dam, too are apwee ve lowve of my wife,’ etc.

 

Dan smirked, before taking a large bite out of his own muffin. The cool, collected front collapsed though, as the muffin fell apart and he got himself covered in crumbs trying to keep it together. When he looked back over at Phil, he was grinning fondly.

 

‘Flawless.’

 

*****

 

‘Dan! I can’t believe… I mean, I’m actually here! Oh Dan, it’s perfect!’

 

‘Good holiday location, then?’

 

Phil turned around and swept Dan up in his arms, spinning him full circle before planting an adoring kiss on his lips.

 

‘God, I love you so damn much.’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite a short one. Uploading now because my exams start tomorrow (eek!) and I'll probably forget on Wednesday. :)


	7. Chapter 7

Dan had known Japan would be beautiful in cherry blossom season, but this had exceeded all of his expectations. There was pink everywhere he looked, petals blowing around in the breeze. He knew that it was only temporary - next week, even, it wouldn’t be as amazing as it was then. However, in Dan’s mind that only added to how stunning it all was.

 

And then there was Phil. Unlike the cherry blossom, Phil would be there next week, and the week after, and the week after that, and all the other weeks to come. Phil was his constant, and that was beautiful too.

 

The two of them spent the first afternoon at the hotel, catching up on lost sleep abd watching endless anime ‘for the immersion’ as Phil had said.

 

‘Phil, we’re literally  _ in Japan. _ You can’t get much more immersed than that.’

 

He’d gone along with it anyway, though, because who could resist those wonderful blue eyes.

 

The second day was spent exploring the city of Tokyo - all the anime shops, the technology, the culture - followed by the most wonderful picnic ever in a park full to bursting with cherry blossoms. As the sun had set, the two had kissed under the tree they had eaten beneath, knowing that this was forever.

 

The third day they had left the city, gone up a mountain that peaked way above the clouds, and to the bluest lake Dan had ever seen, even on the internet. Almost as blue as Phil’s eyes. That had been the best day so far. Of course, the city was amazing, but the tranquility of nature had been truly exceptional.

 

On the fourth day, Dan was excited. He was certain that however wonderful the day before had been, this one was going to top it. He rifled through his suitcase, finding a not-quite-but-almost figure hugging shirt. Then black skinny jeans, and a his nicest pair of trainers. Sort of a semi-formal look, but not quite. He’d told Phil they were going to a fancy restaurant that evening, and commanded him to dress accordingly. So the two of them got dressed in silence, Dan slightly terrified, Phil just content.

 

After hailing a taxi, the two of them sat in the back seat, fingers interlocked. Dan kept glancing at Phil, who seemed to be dozing off slightly, a small smile never leaving his face. He was so nervous he wanted to scream, but that would make Phil worried, so he couldn’t because tonight was for Phil.

 

*****

 

‘Dan, this place! There are just too many good surprises. I don’t want to go home tomorrow.’

 

‘Me neither. This has been great.’

 

They locked eyes for a moment, only interrupted by the waitress bringing their food. As Dan tucked in, he couldn’t help but keep looking out of the window of the skybar. He’d seen pictures of the view when booking, of course, but to see it in reality was just spectacular.

 

After finishing his food, Dan stood up. When Phil enquired, he just brushed him off, saying he would be a moment. He calmed himself as he walked across the room, heading straight for the grand piano that sat on a pedestal in the centre. He used to hate music, when it was forced upon him, but over time he learned to love the way his fingers danced over the piano keys, sometimes barely brushing them, sometimes pushing down with full force. He focused on getting himself in the right mindset, pushing everything out of his mind but the piano, and sat down to play.

 

*****

 

Phil was just finishing his pudding when he heard the sound of a piano from across the room. He glanced up, only to do a double take when he realised that it was Dan who was playing. He put down his spoon and watched, entranced, as Dan’s fingers glided over the keys. He had never heard this song before. It was quiet, serene, beautiful. Not however, as beuatiful as the man who played it.

 

Phil was shocked yet again when Dan opened his mouth and bagan to sing. He knew Dan was alright at singing, but around Phil he never really tried. It was always just for fun. This, though, this was incredible.

 

The lyrics seemed a little odd. Then Phil realised - Dan had written the song. The words he were singing, something about needing someone to lose at Mario Kart so he could feel better about himself, were  _ about Phil. _

 

‘So, Phil, my love

You mean everything to me,

And Phil, my love…’

 

Dan paused for a moment.

 

‘Won’t you marry me?’

 

Phil was so stunned by the words, the voice the music, that he barely registered the words. Dan paused his playing, and gazed over at him. He stood, still in a daze, and made a beeline for Dan. Dan took his hand, stood up, and then Phil was gasping, crying because there he was, the man he loved so, so, so much, down on one knee.

 

And then he was nodding his head, still sobbing, and pulling Dan up into his embrace and kissing him and kissing him and it was all too much, everything was too much because what did he ever do to deserve  _ this _ ? 

 

Perfect was here, now, and it was wonderful.


	8. Chapter 8

Dan snuggled up to Phil’s chest. They’s been home for about a week and the elation of the trip had not yet worn off. Dan was still amazed. Amazed that coincidence had led him to this point. Made Lily introduce him and Phil all those years ago. Made Phil love him back. Made Phil say  _ yes.  _ He could still remember sitting at home in his goody boy bedroom, overachieving and depressed. He remembered imagining a bleak future with some girl who his dad approved of, as a lawyer, tons of money and no happiness.

 

And then there was Phil. Phil, who came into his life and made everything better. Phil, who had showed him that didn’t have to be his future. Phil, who had stuck by him. Phil, who had cared for him. Phil, who had loved him.

 

Dan let out a contented sigh. Phil had fallen asleep whilst they were binge watching the Divergent movies, and Dan didn’t have the heart to move him. He just rested his head on Phil’s chest, and allowed himself to slowly drift off…

 

He was awoken suddenly by the sound of his phone ringing. It was an unknown number. He frowned - it couldn’t be anyone from work, it was 11pm. He tried to remove himself from Phil without disturbing him, and then went into the kitchen to answer.

 

‘Hello?’

 

‘Danny?’

 

‘Anna?’

 

‘Danny!’

 

‘It’s been years! Why did you stop contacting me?’

 

‘When Dad found out I had your number, he got me a new phone and hid the old one. I had it written down, but I didn’t want to risk calling you.’

 

‘OK. Wait. Why are you calling then?’

 

‘I… I just... ‘ Dan heard her voice break.

 

‘Anna, Roo, what is it?’

 

‘He did it to me, too. I’m outside and he won’t let me back in.’

 

‘He what? The fucking bastard.’

 

‘Dan!’

 

‘Sorry. Look, I’ll come get you now.’

 

‘Thank you Danny.’

 

‘No problem Roo. Just hold on, ok?’

 

‘K.’

 

Dan hung up, shaken. What could Anna have possibly done to make his father kick her out as well? Shoving the thought aside, he ran into the living room to shake Phil awake.

 

‘Phil! Phil!’

 

‘What?’ Phil groaned, the, seeing the look on Dan’s face, he asked again, sounding slightly alarmed. ‘What?’

 

‘Listen, I need to go out. I’ll be right back, I’ll explain everything later. If I have time I’ll text you. I’ll be about half an hour.’

 

‘Dan? What’s going on?’

 

‘Don’t worry, I’m fine. Calm down, I’ll be back soon.’

 

Dan dashed out of the front door and into the car, barely stopping to put his shoes on. His anxiety only grew as he drove back to the home he hadn’t seen for eight years. Anna would be 15 now. He didn’t even know her anymore. Would she still like him? Respect him? What if their dad’s homophobia had rubbed off on her?

 

He shook his head. That didn’t matter. All that mattered was getting Anna off the dangerous night time street.

 

Finally he pulled up in front of his old home. Nothing had changed. Even the car was the same. The only difference was the teenage girl curled up in a ball on the lawn and sobbing, clothes strewn around her as if they’d been thrown. 

 

Dan leapt out of the car and ran up to her. 

 

‘Anna?’ he said gently, putting his arm around her to help her up.

 

‘Danny!’ she smiled through her tears.

 

‘Come on. Let’s get you home.’

 

He helped her to the car and then went back to collect her things, throwing them on the back seat before getting in next to her. He jumped when she spoke.

 

‘You finally embraced the hobbit har.’ she smiled.

 

‘Yeah. I decided to embrace who I really was, to stop hiding behind the emo fringe that I had been using as a shield for so many years, and… Yeah. No. It was just laziness. I cba to deal with the straighteners every morning.’ 

 

Anna laughed. It was such a lovely sound, and Dan felt a surge of warmth. He grinned back at her, then braced himself as he pulled into the drive.

 

‘So. This is where I live. You should know, I bought it with my… With my boyfriend a few years ago. I proposed to him last week, and we’re getting married. Also, he’s a bit odd. He works for Disney, so that’s cool. Um…’ Dan trailed off. He still didn’t know how Anna would react to his sexuality.

 

‘That’s so cool! He works for Disney! Also, this house is lovely. Are… Are you sure you don’t mind me staying with you?’

 

Dan breathed a sigh of relief. His father hadn’t ruined her. He then realised he’d been asked a question.

 

‘What? No, it’s no problem. It’s a four bedroom house and we only use one of them. Well, technically another is the gaming room, and another is the office, but there’s still plently of space. Now. Let’s go in. Actually, I haven’t told Phil you’re coming yet. Would you mind waiting in the porch for a mo?’

 

Anna just nodded, and Dan led her up to the house, where he murmured a quick ‘be right back’, before heading in.

 

He found Phil pacing in the hallway.

 

‘There you are! Dan, I’ve been so worried!’

 

‘Phil. I’m 24. Also, I was only gone for 25 minutes.’

 

‘I know, just… You looked so upset when you left’

 

‘Yeah… About that. Remember Anna?’

 

‘Yeah, of course.’

 

‘Well, That Bastard chucked her out, and she’s kinda on the porch right now…’

 

‘Dan!’

 

Dan was suddenly worried. Did Phil not want her here? Would he make her leave? Where would she go? What- Phil cut off his train of thought.

 

‘Dan, you can’t just leave her out there! It’s freezing. Go and get her in, you idiot, I’ll fetch a blanket.’ 

 

Dan blinked in surprise, before doing as he was told. Stepping outside, he took Anna by the hand and led her back into the warmth. He felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders, a weight he hadn’t even known existed. He had been scared for Anna for years, and now he knew that she would be alright.

  
  


*****

 

(Anna POV)

 

I can’t push down the wrenching feeling in my gut. I know they’ll ask at some point, why That Prick kicked me out. I don’t know what to tell them? The truth? What if they change their minds though? What if this Phil guy won’t let me stay? I’ll be homeless!

 

It wasn’t my fault. Well, it was a little bit, but not really. I came second in my ballet competition, and He had it out for me. The Bastard didn’t hit me, but He locked me in my room. He did that before, and I didn’t get any food for three days. I had made a friend though, at school. His name was Will, and he was in the year above. He taught me how to pick locks. Obviously, I didn’t tell him why I wanted to know. He wouldn’t get it. 

 

I managed to pick the window lock, after about five minutes of struggling with a hair pin, and hopped out onto the extension roof. It was pretty easy to get down from there. I ran over to some girl’s house, I don’t know or care who. She was having a party and Will had tried to make me go. I knew I wouldn’t be allowed, but things change. I needed some food. 

 

I could hear screaming and shouting teenagers from four streets away. It was pretty scary. Screw that. It was fucking terrifying. Even so, I kept going and eventually entered the huge sweaty mess of drunk kids. Searching for Will, someone shoved a drink into my hand. I didn’t know who, or what the drink was, but,  _ fuck it _ , I downed the thing. After that the drinks kept coming. I probably only had about three or four, but I’d never had alcohol before except for church. Pretty soon, I was woozy and close to falling over. I tottered around, barely holding myself up, until I finally found Will.

 

‘Wiwwwwwww!’

 

‘Anna?’

 

‘Helloooooooooo Wiwwwwwwwww!’

 

‘Are you drunk? Stupid question. Whatever, come over here.’

 

‘Wiw?’

 

‘Yeah?’ In hindsight he was probably very disinterested.

 

‘Can I have a cuddle Wiw?’

 

‘I… I guess?’

 

Some of his mates came over after that, and gave us both more drinks. Quite quickly, we were both completely hammered. I don’t really remember much after that. I think we played a drinking game or something? I don’t know. What I do know, however, is that the next morning I woke up at Will’s house, in Will’s bed, with Will’s dick poking my bare leg. Yep. My bare leg. And his bare dick. It was pretty obvious what had happened. I just knew I needed to get back to my room in case That Prick decided to let me out. 

 

I made it back in time, thank God. He didn’t let me out for another day. I slept off the hangover and tried to ignore the strange ache from between my legs. We must have been at it quite hard. 

 

I managed to keep my dirty night a secret, though, and when He let me out life resumed like normal. Well, for about two weeks. Then another two weeks of me hiding anxiety from my parents. Then a fifth week where I realised my period wasn’t going to arrive, so I grabbed a pregnancy test on the way home from school. I didn’t really need to wait to know the result. A little blue line. Pregnant.

 

Abortion wasn’t an option. There was no way I could go anywhere without Him knowing, and He was against it. I didn’t want Him to find out anyway. The fear and anxiety started to consume me. 

 

In the end, I broke. I told my mum. Who told Him. Who screamed and hit and kicked and punched me, just like he to Dan all those years ago.

 

‘You filthy whore! You think you can go around opening your legs to any old fucking boy? You have brought shame on this family!’

 

‘Help me! Please, help me…’ I tried to appeal to Mum, but she just looked away and went upstairs. 

 

It felt like it went on for hours, until eventually he threw me out of the door and locked it. I lay there for a moment, sobbing on the grass. I hated my family, but it was better than being homeless. Suddenly, something hit me from above. My hoodie. I looked up quickly, to see my mum disappearing from the window. Huh. Maybe she didn’t hate me after all. 

 

I felt my phone in my pocket, and scrolled through my limited contacts, tears still pouring down my face. My eyes stopped when they reached Dan’s contact. Maybe… I decided I was too desperate to deliberate and hit call. I wasn’t stupid. Being out alone at night when you’re a fifteen year old girl is dangerous.

 

So here I am. Safe in the loving home of my brother and his fiancee. Hiding a pregnancy. They only just got engaged. There’s no way they’ll be ready to look after me and a newborn. I’ll be put into care, and my baby taken away. At least I should enjoy this while I can. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyy! I'm back! Exam season is finally over. Whoop! Here's a long un because I've neglected this for so long. :)


	9. Chapter 9

 

‘Hey Anna,’ Dan began, ‘Can I have a word with you for a moment please?’

 

Anna looked very scared all of a sudden, It was obvious she was hiding something, but Dan didn’t quite know what. She always closed up when Dan started to steer the conversation towards why she was kicked out. He wanted to help her, but she just wouldn’t tell him anything. As she stood up and followed him into the kitchen, Dan wondered whether quizzing Anna was a good idea. After all, he didn’t need to know everything about her, right? He shook himself. Whatever this was, it was eating Anna up and he needed her to know that she was safe and loved. They both took a seat at the breakfast bar, and sat for a moment in silence before Dan started to speak.

 

‘Listen, Roo, whatever you’re hiding and scared of me hating you, or not wanting you anymore, that’s not gonna happen. It’s killing you from the inside, and it’s killing me to watch. What is it Roo? Is it the same reason That Bastard, sorry, I know, language, but is it why He kicked you out?’

 

Anna just nodded, tears threatening to escape her.

 

‘Anna please. What is it? If it’s this important I should know.’

 

She continued to sit in silence. She didn’t want to speak for fear of the tears escaping, as Dan told her she was a useless, filthy whore and he didn’t want her under his roof.

 

‘Whoa whoa whoa, calm down. Don’t hyperventilate. Deep breaths, in and out. That’s it. Nice and slow. Right, how about I give you my phone, and at some point today you type the problem into a note. It doesn’t have to be now. But I would be very grateful if you did it at some point. It’ll give you a chance to think about how to say whatever it is, alright Roo?’

 

Anna hesitated, then slowly nodded. She couldn’t keep it a secret forever after all. It had to come out at some point, and even if she didn’t say anything, her bump would begin to show soon. Dan deserved to know. She took his phone and went upstairs to her room, where she stayed for two hours deliberating how to say what she had to say.

 

Dan remained downstairs, cuddled up with Phil on the sofa. As time went by, he became more and more concerned. Anna wasn’t like normal teenagers usually, in that she tended to spend most of her time downstairs with him and Phil rather than holed up in her room. Even so, he had given her all day, and he wouldn’t break that promise. 

 

Eventually, just as Phil left the room to cook dinner, Dan heard soft, light footsteps slowly coming down the stairs. Anna’s face appeared meekly around the door, and, upon seeing that Dan was alone, she rushed over to him, handed over the phone and ran back upstairs. Dan wanted to follow her, but he knew that whatever issue was troubling her was currently in his hand, and he couldn’t truly comfort her until he was certain what it was. He opened the notes app and pressed Anna’s note, which read:

 

_ Hi Dan. _

 

_ Dad had been mad at me, so I climbed out my window to go to a party. I got very drunk by accident, and, long story short, I woke up the next day in my best friend’s bed. I ran off and tried to forget it ever happened. A few weeks later, I missed my period. A few weeks later, I took a test. Dan, I’m pregnant. I know you and Phil just got engaged and probably don’t want to deal with a newborn baby right now. That’s why I didn’t tell you. I wanted to enjoy the happiness living with you two brings for as long as possible. I guess that’s over now though. I’m packing my bags as you read this, and as soon as the sun rises tomorrow morning I’ll go to social services so they can put me in a home. Sorry for being a burden Dan, and thanks for having me. _

 

_ Love Anna _

 

_ P.S. Please don’t tell Phil until after I’ve gone. I just want one more normal evening. _

 

Dan looked up from his phone in a moment of shock, and then ran to the kitchen immediately. He knew Anna hadn’t wanted to tell Phil, but there was no way in hell he was kicking her out, so Phil needed to know. Phil appeared slightly alarmed when Dan skidded into the kitchen, but Dan didn’t give time time to question it.

 

‘I’m not making her leave Phil, she’s my sister.’ He then thrusted his phone at Phil, the note still open, and proceeded to dash out of the kitchen and run upstairs.

 

He knocked on Anna’s door, then slowly pushed it open. Her head snapped up from folding a t shirt. It was one of the new one’s he and Phil had bought her when she arrived. She suddenly burst into speech.

 

‘Look Dan, I’m sorry. I was going to tell you before but I just didn’t know how to say it and the three of us were just so happy and I wanted to make that last before this happened and I’m so stupid and I know what you think of me now so please don’t say it it will just make it all worse I’m so so sorry…’ She broke off from her verbal explosion into floods of tears.

 

Dan didn’t say anything, he just moved towards her and encircled her in his arms. He pulled her close and tight, and whispered one thing to her.

 

‘We’ll sort this out later, but know this: I will never let you go.’ Anna’s tears doubled as she fell into his embrace, and they stayed like that until Phil called for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might drop off the internet for a while, because I have to go stay with my African family. Fingers crossed they have got wifi since last year!
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed it!


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